


All The Love (I Cannot Give you)

by julietlovestory



Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ALL OF THIS IS KLANCE, Aged Up!, But they will never say it, Cannon World, Keith loves Lance, M/M, More like Klangst, They had a Bonding Moment and Lance will remember it, lance loves keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10130552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julietlovestory/pseuds/julietlovestory
Summary: A story in which Lance loves Keith. Keith loves Lance. But their lives are not easy and their destinies hold way too much responsibility to just give into fleeting things like—like feelings. And so, they tell themselves that they will deal with these feelings soon. But days turn into months, months turn into years, and years… turn into a lifetime.And unavoidably, one day, they run out of time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A story in which Lance loves Keith. Keith loves Lance. But their lives are not easy and their destinies hold way too much responsibility to just give in to fleeting things like—like feelings. And so, they tell themselves that they will deal with these feelings soon. But days turn into months, months turn into years, and years… turn into a lifetime.  
> And unavoidably, one day, they run out of time.  
> I had all these feelings while listening to Dive of Ed Sheeran and Sinner from Lauren Aquilina.  
> Just… Klance omg.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

19 years old.

Lance, despite what most people think of him, is not stupid.

Honestly. He’s not. He attended and managed to do somewhat okay at The Garrison Academy— yes The with capital letters— thank you very much. He had been a good student, not _the best_ —he was not Keith ‘brilliant number one, oh we all worship you’ Kogane—but _certainly_ not the worse, and yeah, _alright_ , maybe sometimes he was loud and made bad decisions—like, okay, going away that time with Nyma? Yeah, not his brightest moment—and yeah, in simulations he used to crash more times than the rest of the teams _but_ now he pilots an alien machine in form of a lion and in the top of that he is the leg of Voltron. So that’s pretty amazing if you ask him, the guys back at the Garrison can suck it now.

So there. He was smart and sometimes he _does know –_ despite what Pidge says _—_ when to be quiet when the situation requires him to.  

So maybe he wasn’t as smart as Pidge, but, despite his many, many faults, he was never reckless.

He thinks things through, not as much as Shiro—who over calculates every variable and result before they even being to discuss it. Or as Pidge, who _sees_ every variable. No, he was more… in-the-heat -of-the-moment-thinker kind of man, and as once Hunk had told him; he was an ace when coming up with master plans in three seconds straight in the middle of a fight.

 _That_ was is forte.

So, you see; he actually uses his brain, unlike _Keith._

And that brings us to this moment; to Keith and, apparently, his inefficiency to think things straight for a bloody second.

The Galra attacked when they were down on a planet looking for food and some mechanical artifacts Hunk and Pidge had been hunting for a while, Allura had said that the planet was friendly and that, at least from what it looked like, it had yet to be conquered by the Galra. It was not every day that she was wrong, but boy she had been that day. So, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention by landing on their lions, they used a common air space ship.

They got into trouble after a few minutes of arriving, which was not surprising.

They had landed several miles away from the capital city and had been walking for a few minutes when, right in the middle of what could be labeled as a forest, they were spotted.

They were crossing a wide field when Shiro had stopped short in his tracks, he tilted his head to the side,

“Guys, do you hear that?”

“What?” Keith said already narrowing his eyes at the field.

“Now that you mention it…” Pidge said looking around, “What is that buzz?”

They all turned their heads around and then the sound increased, they all snapped their heads up to the sky.

“Oh no,” Lance whined, “This was supposed to be a day off, for god’s sake!!”

“I don’t think they got the memo, Lance,” Hunk said as he retrieved his bayard.  As the Galra ship grew closer and closer, starting its descent, Shiro motioned for everyone to ran for cover in the woods.

“How did they find us?!” Pidge asked as if losing her patience.

“That’s not what is important, the real questions is what do we do now?” Keith said eyeing the ship, his bayard already turned into a sword,“We stay and fight?”

“I got an idea! _Retreat_!” Lance shouted, however, he had not finished saying it when they spotted a line of black smoke swirling up in the air where their ship _had_ been when they landed.

“Great, this is just great,” Hunk said miserably, “We are stranded!”

“Listen, “Shiro said eyeing the nearing Galra Ship, “They can’t track all of us at once, let’s separate, Allura has already sent a ship with Coran with our coordinates, the first one to arrive at a safe place will contact him, the first one that Coran picks up will come back for the rest of us—meanwhile try to communicate with your lions, Allura had said that the lions had come to the aid of the past paladins when they needed them, who knows, maybe today will be the day,”

Neither of them seemed too convinced, they were all close to their lions but never had a lion come to their rescue before, Allura said it was a usual occurrence with the past paladins but so far, despite having improved their pilot abilities, their lions and the new paladins had yet oceans to go.

The sound of the float was now almost deafening, the doors on the side of the ship opened and they could see line after line of Galra soldiers ready to fight. That was all it took to put the paladins of motion.

All of them scattered away, Lance immediately took deeper into the woods, as he ran he could hear the rest talking over the comms.

“We just need one lion to get this situation around,” Shiro was saying, Lance imagined him perching behind a tree trying to get a visual of the Galra, “I don’t think we had ever faced so many enemies without a lion,”

Everybody got the silent message loud and clear; run and escape. Fight later.

_Everybody but Keith._

As Lance runs inside the forest looking for any type of mountain he could climb to call Allura he spotted the Red Paladin hiding behind a boulder. Lance dived and hid behind it just when the Galra float landed. He could feel the vibrations through his feet as the soldiers began descending.

“Keith? What the _hell?!”_ Lance whispered-screamed, pushing Keith already in a safe direction, “We need to go. Now now _now_.”

Keith wasn’t listening, he peered over the yellow-ish rock, eyes arrowed before turning towards Lance, “Listen, I have a plan,”

And God, Lance hated his plans,

“Let me guess, go straight into battle, somehow manage to get past a couple of _dozens_ Galra soldiers, and _somehow_ hijack the float. All this on your own. Am I right or am I right?” Keith looked at Lance with something close to anger before he narrowed his eyes. “I’ll make this quick buddy: it is not a good plan,”

Keith almost grunted as he peered over the rock again, Lance saw his resolution dissolve a little, how his shoulders, always so tense during battle, swayed down. “It still looks good enough for me,”

Ugh. He was going to be the death of him.

“Shiro gave us direct orders,” Lance argued as he peered over the rock once and taking advantage that the Galra were still a few feet away, unaware of their presence, he took Keith’s hand into his and slowly but surely dragged him back into the bushes. Once safe and only then they began running.

Later, after Lance and Keith had found a safe place to be the first to call for Coran— coming back just in time to rescue the rest who were already surrounded— the Galra defeated, and back at the castle sailing the vast universe once again, Lance was able to breathe in relief. Once their little assembly was dismissed Keith announced he was taking a break, however, his steps were not as sharp as always and Lance found himself following him out of the meeting room.

“Lance, what are you doing?” Keith asked when Lance caught up with him, hands in his pockets as he followed Keith down the hall.

“I’m making sure you don’t make more bad decisions,”

Keith glared at him, “Really, Lance? I said I was taking a break, how can that—“

“You are going to the training deck,” Lance shrugged easily but there was accusation in his voice and Keith faltered in his steps, “That does not count as a ‘break’, although you and Shiro clearly have this misconception of the term,”

 “I’m not tired,”

“Uh—uh,” Lance said looking at Keith up and down with a raised brow, he didn’t even need to look at Keith closely to know he was tired, everybody was, the last past _year_ had been tiring.

“I'm serious,”

Lance sighed as he grasped Keith’s shoulders by his back and began softly pushing him down the hall that would lead them to their dormitories, “You know you are not a robot, right? We are all tired.  Even Pidge is taking a few hours of sleep. I need to rest. _You_ need to rest.”

“Lance—“ Keith tried.

“My Mama used to say that living halfway it’s no way of living.” Lance said seriously, “And man would she say that right now, just get some sleep, Keith.”

Lance was prepared to be shoved aside then, so Keith could—stubbornly as always—walk away and get his way, however, Keith didn’t bolt from the spot and away from Lance, he just kept walking, arms crossed over his chest—a clear sign he was not happy with this—but he let Lance manhandle him all the way down to their rooms, he even went down quietly, to Lance’s amusement. Lance couldn’t see his face but he wasn’t sure what would he find anyway. Resignation, most probably.

They reached Keith’s room and Lance stopped in front of it, finally letting go of Keith’s shoulders after a second too long. When the room sensed movement the door opened automatically.

“Get in,” Lance said as he sidestepped Keith, taking a few steps towards his own room, “And don’t try to be a smartass and escape later, trust me, I’ll know,”

He narrowed his eyes at Keith, pointing his fingers to his eyes before signaling Keith up and down, the boy just raised his hands in surrender, content with the result Lance began walking away.

“Oi, Lance?” Lance looked over his shoulder and his heart did a somersault in his chest. Keith was smiling so gently and soft at him it could barely be called a smile, but Lance saw it as clear as the stars outside the windows, “Thank you…” He did a weird gesture towards the door of his room, Lance figured it meant ‘for actually forcing me to take a rest’ and Keith smile dropped a little as he stubbornly looked to the side, “And for back there, at the forest, I guess in hindsight… it was a rather bad plan, I’ll give you that,”

Lance wanted to say several things then because you see, Lance was smart _and yet,(_ And _why_ God _why_ did this happened to him?!) he happened to fall head over heels over Keith Kogane of all people.

So when Keith’s smiled to him like that he had wanted to say several things, things like; “ _You look beautiful when you smile, do you know that?_ ” Or maybe something more sentimental like; “ _Keith you are not alone anymore. You can stop doing things on your own. Fight on your own. We are a team. You’ve got us. You’ve got_ me _.”_ Maybe even just say something bold and so typically Lance like; “ _It’s alright, after all, your dangerous attitude always keeps me on my toes in a good way, babe”_ And he would wink and just walk away. Just like that.

Oh, Keith’s face would be priceless.

But he didn’t do or say any of those things. Lately, he found himself not even doing half the things he wanted to do with Keith.

“You’ve got it, man,” Lance said instead as he made a salute and walked down to his room, in which he could either scream in frustration or cry in agony, or better yet, both things at once, “I’ll see you tomorrow,”

And even though he could feel Keith’s stare on him he didn’t turn back.

He will tell him, Lance reproached himself, one day soon.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 

25 years old

“Nice job, guys, I’m proud of you,” Shiro said over the comms system, it was followed by several joyful screams, laughs and a few ‘Hell yeah’s!” from the rest of the team, “See you on the ground,”

 “Roger that,” Keith said.

“Is _anyone else_ starving? Because _I’m_ starving,”

“You are not alone on that,” Pidge grumbled, and that was the last thing Lance heard as he muted his end of the microphone. He sighed, terribly tired but still literally vibrating with adrenaline and joy. That had been one hell of an encounter with the Garla but in Lance’s humble opinion they never stood a chance. They had fought so well and coordinated Lance was sure this was going to be a new record for them.

He sighed as he leaned back in his chair letting blue take control for a bit, finally allowing himself a moment of relaxation as they headed towards solid ground.  Voltron had received a distress call from a nearby planet that only Coran knew how to pronounce, the Garla, as always, had invaded a quite peaceful planet, conquering the Xaleox—the planet’ tall and white inhabitants, creatures with three sets of eyes and no mouth. They had a body not unlike of a human one, despite them having four arms instead of two and being taller than the average human.

Lance looked at the vast universe around him before settling his eyes on the planet again, green’s and yellows decorated the surface and Lance once again felt a pang of homesickness. What would he give to see Earth again? All greens and blues staring back at him.

As in on cue, Blue purred, bringing Lance back from his melancholy.

“I have not forgotten about you. Good work today, girl,” Lance said affectionately as he patted the control panel. He could _feel_ more than hear the purr that Blue made and Lance smirked at the wave of pride that surged from his lion, “Yeah, yeah, and the guys call _me_ big-headed,”

Blue rumbled again this time, undeniable vanity scraping the surface and Lance couldn’t help but chuckle as he turned his mic on again, it was one of those days when loneliness struck and he knew better than to spend this time alone. He redirected his signal so instead of contacting his whole team he could open a private canal with one of them . For a moment he thought he was going to be ignored but a second later the soft static sounds that indicated someone was on the other line could be heard.

“Hey,” Keith said easily and Lance looked outside and followed the Red Lion’s form as it crossed the space. Lance realized with consternation that they were the only ones left; the green, black and yellow lions that belonged to the rest of his team were almost out of sight. Their form getting smaller and smaller as they approached the yellowish planet.

“Hey,” Lance smiled, knowing Keith couldn’t see him, and placed his hands on the back of his neck, “Looks like we are the last making it to the ground.”

“Yep, slow as usual, Lance,” Keith said but with no real malice in his voice, “Had to save your ass today because of that,”

Lance grunted, “Oh really? If I remember correctly I saved yours like three times today and—”

“I’m joking, Lance,”

“Oh, well, if I'm so slow why did you stay, then, Mullet?” Lance asked eyeing the comms, already knowing exactly why.

“You know the rules,” Keith commented off-handedly, and Lance hummed choosing on staying silent.

Several times in the past leaving one team member alone or farther away from the group had been a mistake. A mistake that had turned into dangerous situations more times than Lance was willing to admit. Being attacked by surprise by a remaining Galra ship or some sneaky plan to steal one Lion after a battle does happen, not often, but it does happen. Pidge suffered from this one year ago, and ever since then Shiro had made a rule to never go separate ways after a battle.

“Besides Hunk and Pidge were eager to eat whatever the Xaleox are going to make, apparently a banquet is going to be offered to us as reward” Keith added once Lance’s silence prolonged, “Coran said they are great cooks, the fact that Coran said this worries me even more, honestly,”

The planet began growing bigger and bigger in front of Lance’s eyes, whose eyes were fixed on nothing in particular. “Lance, are you alright? You are quiet.”

Lance lowered his arms and looked at the black streaming screen of Keith’s canal visual. Just a movement of his hand and he would be able to see his face but he didn’t move, happy to just hear his voice.

“Tiring battle, that’s all I just—“

“Lance…”

Lance placed his elbows on the control panel and leaned on them as he stared at the black screen, picturing Keith’s face, he could hear his worried voice but almost see his furrowed eyebrows too, he would probably be sweaty, as they always were after a battle, he wondered if he had his helmet on or not. He could bet he didn’t.

“Sorry I— uh, I don’t feel like landing anytime soon to be honest,” Lance waved a hand and sighed, “But can’t help it, right? Celebration party and all that jazz,”

Keith laughed on the other end and Lance’s hand almost shots to turn on the video camera, unfortunately—or fortunately, as you wish to see it—Keith did open the video link and soon Lance was able to see Keith throwing him a funny look from the inside of his Lion, the last remains of his laugh still showing on his face, no helmet to hinder the view. Lance’s eyes softened at the sight.

“I can’t believe it. Was that a tone _of boredom_ I heard in your voice?” Keith said puzzled, narrowing his eyes at Lance and the blue paladin rolled his eyes, hands behind his neck again, “You are saying— you _don’t want_ to party? Booze, food, alien ladies, _all that jazz?_ C’mon Lance, the fight wasn’t that tiring. _”_

It was, it really had been but everybody always wanted to pretend things weren’t as difficult as they were. A coping mechanism Pidge had told him once.

“Believe it or not, Keith, even _I_ need a rest from time to time,” Lance said smugly before he looked ahead of them, the world was near enough that Lance was not able to see its circumference anymore, he dropped his hands and finally took control of Blue again steering her to the city where the rest were probably waiting for them.

“I’m glad you are finally out of your seventeen old phase,” Keith commented,

“I’m twenty-five!”

“Exactly,”

And Lance against his will laughed, “Jerk,”

However, his compliment wasn’t met with the usual banter. It’s has been a few years since it had lost the appeal. Oh, they still banter and they were still kind of rivals, but instead of trying to own one another they thrived together, they were the best duo Voltron had and everybody knew it. Once you pair Lance and Keith together they were a force to be reckoned with, however, when they were quiet and peace, when they were not fighting and just… safe, sometimes… _just_ sometimes, times like these, they could just be.

Intrigued as to why Keith was also silent Lance looked at the video, Keith wasn’t looking at him, instead he seemed to be focused on their path ahead and Lance took a few moments to admire a face he knew so well and yet he relished on seeing it every day; his sharp eyes, his broad shoulders, the lines on his face, the little almost invisible tug on his lip that showed that Keith was thinking something. When he spoke Lance almost jumped on his seat.

“You know, if you really don’t feel like landing we can stay a bit more,” Keith offered, finally looking at Lance, “I don’t mind,”

Lance almost took the offer, _almost_ , but he was afraid of what could he say or do alone with Keith like this, especially when he felt so vulnerable. So he shook his head, pushing Blue forward to be at level with Red, he looked at Keith’s lion head almost as if he was able to see Keith behind all that metal before he looked at the Keith on his screen.

“ _You_ maybe don’t but Shiro certainly will,” The gravity of the planet began pulling them down. Lance saluted the camera with two fingers and a well-placed smirk before turning the screen off, “See you on the ground, buddy,”

Lance looked at the dark screen for a second longer, smile dropping. Keith was quiet long enough that Lance thought Keith had already turned the audio off.

“Roger that,”

And the soft static disappeared from Lance’s ears when Keith finally disconnected himself.

For a brief moment Lance felt as if someone had hit him in the chest. Blue purred again feeling what Lance was feeling, sharing what Lance was sharing. Making Lance’s destroyed heart stop suffering so much when he shared his pains with his lion.

“I’m alright,” Lance said as confident as ever, even if his voice wasn't steady, even if he felt like he was having trouble breathing, even if he felt as if he might collapse dare someone push him too hard. Lance took several calming breaths as he finally located the clear where the rest of the lions where and neatly landed by Yellow on the ground. Keith was already there, sitting in one of Red’s paws, arms crossed, helmet off (im) patiently waiting for him.

He could feel Blue sending him feelings and emotions through their bond, however, they were not melancholic, like his were, but more in the impatient and urgent side. Lance smirked against his will, knowing perfectly well what she was implying.

“One day, girl, one day,”

Blue had just whirred in desperation but Lance tuned her off.

Lance observed Keith for a few moments from his advantage point before shaking his head; _focus._ This was _not_ the time for _this_ ; this being feelings he knew perfectly well by now and what they meant, and yet he did nothing to sort them out. He palmed Blue’s left side of the cabin twice.

“Let me out, I’ll come back later to check on you, alright?” But Blue didn’t lower her head as she usually did for him, “Uh— _Please?”_

Silence.

 _“Blue…c’mon!!”_ He whined, realizing what was happening and yet he only received an imminent purr of refusal.

Lance sighed, he knew Blue as mad at him, and not exactly at him but his decisions, as heartwarming as it was having Blue worrying for him Lance couldn’t, really couldn’t fight and win over his insecurities and say what he wanted to say and do as Blue demanded. It was not that easy.

What he wanted to do and what he wanted to say were small, insignificant almost, compared to Voltron, the security of the universe and their destinies. Lance knew and understood the responsibility that he had been given.

Doing and saying as he wished could break Voltron apart. It was a risk they couldn’t take. Not when they were _so_ close to defeating Zarkon. After Zarkon was defeated he could afford to give himself a break. Once all of this was over he would tell Keith. Meanwhile, he was content with the friendship they both had forged, it was never enough for him, but it was enough for Voltron and so he was happy with it. Or so Lance told himself.

He stood up from his chair and exited his Lion by the trap door on the ceiling.

 _So_ instead of escalating down his lion, walk over Keith and kiss him like he had imagined a thousand times. Instead of thanking him for once again having his back in a battle and just show him with words _and actions_ how glad he was to have him in his life...

He escalated down his lion, walked over to Keith and lightly shoved the red paladin by the shoulder, leaving his hand there for a moment.

“C’mon Mullet, I’m starving. Race you to the castle?” As an afterthought he retreated his hand and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning towards Keith with a smirk, “But then again I’m not seventeen anymore, according to _someone_. We don’t do things like that anymore, right?”

“Our old stupid rivalry, you mean?”

“Wha—it was _not_ stupid!” Lance squealed, faking anger, “Of all people! _You,_ what— _take it back!”_

Keith’s smirk erupted into a laugh and Lance thought he could live with that, the minimal of touches, the sound of his voice, the creeks on his eyes when he smiles and the movement of his shoulders when he laughs. Yes, Lance thinks, he could live like this, with only this, for the rest of his life.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 _"I’m truly sad to see you leave, Paladins of Voltron,"_  The High Priestess of the Xenlox, Akala, spoke inside their heads, they were not the first species that the Paladins had encountered who communicated mentally, it _always_ threw the paladins off, they had grown used to it, however, that didn’t mean they were comfortable with it.

 _“How can we ever repay you for your kindness?”_  And if Lance could have a dollar for every time he heard that phrase he would be rich by now. They were all gathered in the center of the village, already saying goodbye and ready to depart to their next mission. They had celebrated, they had rested and they were ready to go.

“You gave us food and shelter, your hospitality was the greatest gift and that is more than enough,” Allura said with a soft smile. Again, if Lance could have a dollar…

 _“Somehow that seems like a little price to pay after you had freed my people,”_ The high priestess said as she opened her four arms, _“We were enslaved for years, if it weren’t for you I don’t know when would we have been able to do it on our own,”_

“It’s our duty and our privilege, we protect the universe and we are glad we had helped you. The fight against Zarkon it’s not over, though, all I hope is that when the time comes, you will come to our aid in whatever terms you see fit,” Allura said with a kind smile, “I do not ask for anything else,”

 _“You can count us as your allies, Princess Allura, we owe you our lives,”_ She made a kind of reverence and all her people followed through, _“It will be only fair to return your kindness,”_

Allura smiled, ready to walk away when she was stopped.  

 _“Before you leave, though, my people would want you to have this_ ,” Akala said, as she motioned another Xenox to come forward, “ _It’s not enough yet to repay you, but I we would want you to have it.” She turned towards her companion, “We would want to give you a piece of our soul,”_

“Sorry, what?” Hunk said.

“A piece of our soul,” The woman repeated again and all the paladins exchanged a look. Pidge and Lance shared a look as they both shrugged. That was until Akala’s hand glowed white, whiter than her skin at least, and without further notice she literally introduced it inside the other Xenon’s chest.

“Wait, wait _wait,_ are you going to sacrifice him?!” Lance yelled.

And at once everybody had a little panic attack, Allura was stricken in place, hands raised, none of them entirely sure what they were supposed to do until the Xenox Priestess shook her head, three pairs of blue eyes shining with confusion. It was then whey they noticed that the other Xenon didn’t seem to be in pain at all.

 _“I sometimes forget how different our races are, you don’t need to fear”_ It was another voice, a male one, if this planet had genders. Lance realized it was the other Xenox that was talking.

Keith crossed his arms over his chest, he had avanced a few steps as if to aid the Xenin, once he realized there was no need to attack or defend he retarcted back to stand beside Lance. Keith raised his brows as lance shrugged. Well, that had been awkward. Keith looked back at the escene asn scrunched his nose. Lance chuckled behind his hand at the bewildered look on Keith’s face before turning back to Akala.

The high priestess extracted her hand from the chest in a very grim motion, then. Pidge made a face. Now, in her somehow still white pristine hands, she had a piece of a transparent blueish rock, small enough to fit in her fist, “ _This is what the Galra came to our world for.”_

Everybody was too stunned to talk. This woman had just pushed her hand inside another Xenon’s chest and had brought it back to show them a rock?! That somehow was _inside_ an alien? While said Alien didn’t even blink one of his three pair of eyes? If anything, once Akala was over, the Xenon (he/she/they?) returned quietly back to the line of Xenon who made space for him just as silently.

“What—what is it?”  Keith was the first to recover.

Akala didn’t have a mouth to smile, however, they could hear it implied in her tone, “ _As I said, a piece of our soul. You see, all of us, are connected by this. We call it_ Shelliamura _. It’s the power that allows us to connect and share one soul, the power that allowed us to transform into a peaceful and thriving community. For as long as we have existed the_ Shelliamura _has lived inside of us. A soul, if you are more comfortable with the term.”_ She placed it in the almost shaky hands of Allura, _“The Galra heard stories about a precious mineral that was growing on this planet, an invaluable hidden treasure that could help them win the war.”_

“They came here… thinking this was a precious jewel. Something they could sell,” Shiro said amazed looking over Allura’s shoulders,  “A way to earn allies faster, I guess. To pay for the war,”

“Or maybe use it as a source of power like the balmera’s crystals…” Allura said as she looked down at the tiny crystal on her hand, tears prickling her eyes as Akala motioned another Xenon forward.

“It’s… it’s wow,” Hunk said as he stepped closer to see it.

It was, in a way, breathtaking.

The second time Akala hand dug inside another Xenox's chest it was as disturbing as the first.

 _“Well, they were not entirely wrong, it was growing inside this planet and_ it’s _invaluable. This is what gives life to all of us, it connects us, we share the same feelings and the same thoughts because of it,”_

The paladins were all looking torn between being amazed or disturbed.

Akala gave Shiro the next rock, after him, Akala walked towards Lance, her three blue eyes settled on his for a moment and Lance had the feeling she somehow could see beyond him in a way, then her eyes smiled, as she was sharing an inner joke.

_“And when you use it right, the Shelliamura can give you answers, use it wisely, young paladin,”_

Lance opened his hands and Akala dropped the rock way too gently that lance wondered if the rock might be fragil. He gave a shaky breath when he felt the weight against his bare hands. It looked like a rock but he knew it had more significance than this.

 _“The Galra were never smart enough to realize where the rock was really hidden_ ,” She said as she gave each paladin one Shelliamura, all of them different sizes but all of them beautiful and the same rich color, “ _But in their desperation to get their hands on it, they almost destroyed our planet,”_

Allura hugged the crystal close to her heart, “Thank you, I’ll never forget this moment.”

“Neither will we,” Shiro said as the paladins looked in all very different states of awe, they had been given something, somehow, more important than an alliance.

 _“Now that the crystal is outside of our bodies you will carry an essence of us, however, our thoughts and minds will not connect with yours_ ,” Akala said as she blinked and Lance swears she managed to look royal and kind with just that movement, “ _The crystal works differently outside a body.”_

“How? Will I be able to read their minds if I touch my crystal with theirs?” Pidge asked politely, however, she was holding the crystal close to her chest. The mental training back at the castke was enough, thank you, she didn’t need to hear them 24/7.

 _“Oh no. I only think that could work if somehow you inserted the crystal inside your body and somehow your body accepted it as an organ_ ,” Akala said and the rest of the paladins suppressed a shiver, “ _However, you would be connected, the rock will aid you when your own soul can’t.”_

“How?” Keith repeated, he lifted his rock up to the sky admiring the reflection of the light through it. Keith made a face as he turned towards Akala, Lance raised his brows as he fleeted hus eyes between them, had Akala said something to Keith alone?

After a long time of silence all the paladins looked at her questioningly, _“I guess that’s something you will have to find out on your own, Paladins.”_

They said they goodbyes shortly after, the whole race of Xenon made a movement with their arms—a type of bow— as they departed.

Usually, when they leave a planet they leave it talking and joking and already dreading the horrible imminent routine that awaited them back in the castle, however, this time they were too focused on their own crystals to even bother to socialize.

Lance raised his over his head, he thought his looked like frozen water.

Hunk pocked it with his fingers, thinking his looked like a section of a lunar crystal.

Pidge was biting her tongue as she examined hers; it looked like compressed air that somehow managed to stay unmoving in time.

Keith rolled it in his hands, feeling the sharp edges on it and he couldn’t help but compare it to compacted fire, like if someone had taken a flame and had, like a miracle, frozen it.

Shiro thought his looked like overflowing light that somehow stayed solid for him to hold.

“I hope you take great care of this gift, Paladins,” Allura said. She looked at the crystal with so much awe and respect as she was cradling a child.

“This is… a soul,” Lance said after a moment, finally catching up with just what they had been given, he lifted his rock up in the air again, this time a light in his eyes, “A solid soul.”

Even Pidge couldn’t make a joke out of this.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

 _“So,_ how do you think this works?” Lance said a few hours later when everybody was relaxing in their down-time-room. Nobody called it like that. Nobody. And yet Lance insisted every time. “You think _they_ can hear our thoughts? That would be so creepy in so many different ways,”

“No, I think it goes both ways,” Pidge said already on her laptop as she typed fast, her long hair pulled up in a ponytail out of her face, “If you can’t hear them they can’t hear you, positive, _unless_ you wanna test the theory of inserting the crystal inside of your body and see how it goes,” She raised her head, mischief sparkling in her eyes, “I’ll do your chores for a month if you volunteer,”

Lance scoffed, and as the twenty-five-year-old he was, he rolled his eyes and gave Pidge his middle finger, Pidge chuckled under her breath not one bit surprised.

“Still, don’t know how it works,” Lance announced looking at his rock, however, by the way he held it was clear to anyone how much he liked it already, “Even Coran had no idea when I asked him, apparently is the best-kept secret in the universe. This Shiakirula.”

“Shelliamura,” Pidge corrected him absently, “I’ll try and run some tests,”

“You can’t just _test it,_ Pidge!” Lance said as he almost bolted out of his seat, blue eyes narrowed, “It’s… it’s a soul! What if the Xenox feels it?!”

“I’m with Lance here,” Keith raised a hand lazily, “If the alliance breaks just because we were running test Allura would kill us,”

Pidge looked at his three friends with an ashamed face for once, “So what do you want me to do? I knew we should have asked more things before leaving,”

“I think it has more to do with feelings, instead of thoughts, you know?” Hunk said as he pressed his rock towards his chest absently, looking outside the huge window of the room, “She said we wouldn’t be able to talk to each other, right? Like… _they_ do…in their heads… so creepy, (‘Totally creepy,’ Lance supported him) but she said it _would_ help us connect, what other way could there be?”

“You mean… connect with _feelings_?” Keith asked as if it was the first time he heard such a word. Lance had to control himself and not laugh at him, “You mean…because they were all connected? Huge, educated, smart society that shared the same thoughts? You think that could happen… like… to us?”

They all shared different glances to each other, even Pidge stopped her frantic typing to listen.

“Yeah,” Hunk shrugged.

“So instead of a mental connection…you mean a _feeling_ connection?” Pidge asked with a raised brow.

Hunk nodded, more convinced with his idea that before, “Yeah, I mean, who knows? Maybe if I tap myself against yours I will be able to understand you better? Like… have a glimpse of your feelings or something. Why you do the things you do and all that stuff. Akala said the rocks would work different outside a body, maybe not as precise or correct as to transform our brain’s waves to words, but maybe  enough to transform feelings?” Hunk said as he looked at his friends, “When you touch your rocks… don’t you feel something?”

Keith nodded, gazing down at his own rock, meditative, “Like… if there’s something vibrating… something _alive_ inside.”

“That’s… that's _the soul,_ right? Of the Xenonx’s? Our connection to them.” Lance said pondering the words Hunk said, opening his hand to stare down at his rock, “So… if I touch my rock with yours… that will happen? Will I be able to… like… _connect_ my soul to yours?”

The four paladins were silent for a long time after that and Lance couldn’t help but raise his eyes to look at Keith. Keith was looking at his rock too, his eyebrows were so close to one another that Lance had to suppress the feeling of getting up and smooth Keith’s troubled face.

He felt the edges of his rock, his blue eyes not straying away from Keith and he felt that… that feeling on his chest. And every time he felt it, it was just harder and harder to push down. To share a soul, to understand better the feelings of another one. To be always connected. To be, literally, soulmates.

Lance closed his hand over his rock and with it his feelings.

“Alright, we can agree to disagree most of the time but I’m sure we can all agree and keep our souls to ourselves,” Lance said with a shaky laugh and everybody gave out collective sigh, breaking the tense silence that had befallen them.

“Don’t take it personally,” Hunk said sheepishly, “I love our bonding moments and all the bonding drills Allura pulls us trough but—uh, yeah, I agree with Lance. No offense.”

“None taken,” Keith’s face flashed with something but it was gone before none of them could see it, only Lance, though, because Lance, sadly, always notices all the little things Keith does and he wonders what had that look been about.

 _“I’m_ totally making a container for mine, that’s for sure,” Pidge said with no malice on her voice and a soft smile on her face as she looked at her three friends that after all this time she had come to love and care for as her own brothers.  

“Yeah, yeah okay minion, that’s what you say but, honestly? Being connected with me? That would be the highlight of your life,” Lance smirked.

“ _My high_ — you mean _your_ highlight, you would understand about robotics for once,” She joked.

“Only your passion for it,” Hunk said, sticking to his theory.

Pidge rolled her eyes but corrected herself, “Fine, then that’s even worse because being connected with you will make me a brooding, obnoxious, always hungry kind of paladin. _Yeah,_ no thanks.”

“I don’t brood!” Keith complained loudly.

“And yet that was the adjective you decided to be upset about,” Pidge smirked as she got up from her place, she took her laptop with her, Keith crossed his arms in quiet defeat.

“You dug your own grave, there,” Lance whispered with wriggling eyebrows and Keith kicked him on the leg with a growl.

“I’m gonna ran some tests that Coran needs me to do before going to bed, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Pidge announced with a vague wave. They all chorused a string of goodbyes as she left, the moment she was gone Lance glared at the door.

“Like _I_ would want to be bonded with the little gremlin, I would become a smart-ass geek with no sense of sleep given the amount of personality she literally radiates,” Lance grumbled before looking towards Hunk. His scoff dying to give way to a bright smile, “I would not mind being bonded with you, Hunk, buddy,”

Hunk smiled warmly, “Aw, me neither, Lance,”

“Actually something good could come out of it,” Keith joked lightly.

Lance shot him a look, raised brows, but a smile on his face, “Oh, so you are saying you like Hunk’s personality more than mine?”

“Everybody likes Hunk more than anybody,” Keith said matter of fact and Lance narrowed his eyes, closed and opened his mouth twice before replying,

“True,” He said as he leaned back on the sofa. “You got me there,”

Hunk groaned, “Are you doing this again?”

“What?”

“Like… argue that I’m the favorite paladin… but I’m not?” Hunk said embarrassed, “Guys, It’s been two years since Allura said that!!”

“Hunk, you _are_ my favorite Paladin,” Lance said seriously, “No matter what Allura said, even if she clearly stated two years ago that she would miss you the most out of all the paladins that doesn’t mean anything. It’s a universal truth.”

“Yeah, same.” Keith shrugged and Hunk finally rose from his spot on the couch and walked to the exit. They always did that. Somehow instead of being a praise, it had become some kind of a running joke along the ship that Allura liked Hunk the most.  Nobody really minded, not even Shiro, but God they loved to push his buttons.

“Get over it guys!” He said frustrated as the door closed behind him.

“Oh, it never gets old,” Lance’s let out a quiet chuckle, after a few moments he turned to look back at Keith.

The Red Paladin was staring intently at his crystal, like if somehow the rock was the key to a secret world he had yet to discover. Eh, maybe it was. Keith hunched over, elbows against his knees, hands toying idly with the rock while his hair, that now he tends to use in a ponytail, was framing his face.

Lance felt again that strange feeling in his chest, strange even after all these years, he was always surprised to see it had not evaporated, despite the amount of times he had crushed it, so strange and so comfortable at the same time, so… familiar. Because it was strange that he still had it, six years later. So strange that unknowingly it was Keith the reason he felt this way.

Love was indeed a strange feeling, Lance thought.

Lance smiled against his will as he tapped his foot lightly against Keith’s. The Red Paladin quickly raised his eyes.

“Stop it, Keith.” Lance said kindly, “You are _overthinking_ about overthinking this.”

Keith blinked before he leaned back against the couch, eyes fixed on Lance’s, it was like if Keith was trying to tell him something by just staring but Lance was missing the memo.

“So—uh, you think Shiro and Allura figured this out already?” Lance said after a while, twirling his rock in his hand, “I’m sure they have. Speaking of which I bet you a week of bonding training with Shiro as my partner that they already touched their crystals together, they had been so in love for years that, _really_ it wouldn’t be surprising, and—”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Keith said as if he had been battling himself and his words for ages.

Lance titled his head, “What? Shiro and Allura? They have not _officially_ said anything but we all know that—”

“No. Not that. The bonding,” Keith said looking down at his rock again, he pushed his shoulders back, as if gaining strength out of the movement, “To be connected… to all of you. I wouldn’t mind.”

Keith looked from his crystal, which was shining merrily in his hands, towards Lance who was sitting across from him on the other couch. Lance’s shoulders tensed. You see, after years of fighting together and with each other, somehow in the middle, Lance had forged a _real bond_ with Keith. They were friends. In all the ways the word can be used. True, Lance wished more nights than not that it could be more than that, but that didn’t mean he was about to make fun of Keith because of this.

“I have never—I have never had someone back on earth to worry about, to care or think about, you all know that, never had a family… not until you guys found me anyways.” He said with an even voice and Lance nodded, they all knew this.

“So being connected with you honestly doesn’t seem horrible to me,” Keith said honestly before one of those small smiles, the ones that always manage to throw Lance off, lighted up his face, as always his heart started beating faster, “Knowing each of you changed my life. Being bonded, somehow sharing a piece of my soul with you—well, doesn’t feel that different from what we share when we form Voltron. From what we share every day.”

Lance had the urge to stand up and hold him close. Because he knew, just like the rest of the team, just what Keith had gone through back on earth. They knew that Keith was an orphan. That Keith was part Galra, and that even after all these years he sometimes struggled with it, a part of himself he sometimes refused to acknowledge. That he enrolled the Garrison because he envisioned more a life out of earth that in it.

And then… there were things that Lance knew and the rest didn’t.

Keith had once told him that he didn’t know when his real birthday was. The social worker that took care of him and followed his case for years had once confessed him this when he turned fifteen. He had been found as a baby someday around November, the only note attached to him had been his name. Keith Kogane. However, they couldn’t know for sure when had his birth taken place. She thought he deserved to know.

Well, Keith could’ve gone without knowing that.

Discovering he was part Galra had finally answered a few questions regarding his background.

Keith had told him other things too. More grave things.

Once when they were trapped inside a cave and they were waiting for the rest of the team to find and get them out. They had been arguing as always, it had started on who to blame, and things just escalated from there, soon their almost quiet argument became louder and louder, that’s when Lance told him how much he hated Keith’s inability to control his anger.

“—we are trapped inside this _stupid_ cave because you couldn’t cool your jets for _five_ seconds!” Lance said enraged, throwing his helmet to the ground, “I had a plan and you, you just _did_ whatever you wanted _anyway!”_

“Lance, I didn’t know that—“

“Of course you didn’t!” Lance interrupted, “God, it’s 101 thinking, _genius_! _You can’t_ take a whole army on your own, you can’t do everything on your own _. Why do you insist?_ Do you have a death wish or something?!” Lance was so angry he wanted to hit Keith straight in the face, they were uncommunicated, no way to reach the others, the comms were out of line and yet he was trapped here with Keith, back at the times he didn’t hate him but also back at the times he refused to acknowledge his feelings for him, “My Mama used to say that a cold heart takes better decisions than an empty mind and guess what, you _dumbass?_ You clearly _had nothing_ in your mind when you charged against the Galra!”

And Keith had finally lost it, it had been a tiring week and an even more tiring battle. He was hungry and cold and angry _and stuck_ with Lance, and that had been the last drop to the metaphorical glass. He had charged against him, pinning him against the wall so hard Lance yelped when he heard the rock crumble against his back, “That’s because I never had a ‘Mama’ to tell me to cool off, to _think for five seconds,_ alright? Sorry if I missed the memo on the familiar lessons and the wise phrases. While _you_ learned how to live _I_ learned how to survive. I learned how to be faster, and better, and quicker than the rest. You had a home when I had a house, Lance. So shut up for five minutes about your Mama and her sayings! If I wanted food, or shelter, or peace I fought for it! You get that?!” For good measure Keith pushed Lance back one more time, Lance was stunned into silence, “You _get_ that?”

Lance couldn’t form words, his brain collapsing with what Keith had just said. Finally, Keith’s hands, which were shaking, released him, letting Lance’s feet on the ground again, Lance hadn’t even noticed. However, Keith’s hands stayed loosely attached to the collar of his suit. Keith didn’t move too far, head hung low and even in the partial darkness of the cave Lance could see his features almost as clear as day.

Keith was broken.

“You hate me… and I don’t know _why_ you hate me, honestly,” Keith said after a moment, voice ringing low even in the deserted cavern, enough that Lance had to hold his breath in case he missed something, “You have everything I ever dreamed of having, Lance”

“I—Keith,”

 _“Everything_ ,” Keith repeated looking down at his feet, hand stilling on his chest and Lance could feel it as the tremors of anger slowly left Keith. “And I don’t hate you for it. You know? Sometimes… sometimes… when you talk with Hunk about your families… I just—“

Lance wished he knew how to make Keith shut up because, _oh God_ , he was not ready to hear that Keith Kogane was jealous of him. Never. In this life or the next.

“I don’t hate you either,” Lance said quickly, wanting to erase that sad face from Keith ASAP but not knowing entirely why or how. They had just been in space for a few months and he didn’t want to think what seeing Keith sad made to his heart. Keith was just his friend.

A friend who for months had thought he hated him,

Oh God.

“I swear, Keith, I don’t hate you,” Lance grabbed Keith’s hand from his shirt, wanting to untangle himself but stilled when Keith’s raised his head to look at him.

“What?” Keith’s voice broke in just one word. Lance felt the instant urge and need to hug him, he stopped trying to untangle his shirt from Keith’s hold, “But— _you do?”_

And Keith had been…. well, all the things a human man shouldn't be. He was sad, broken, confused, a lot of things no one should be at the same time.

Lance stopped fighting the feeling of hugging Keith altogether.

Keith froze when Lance hugged him, arms going limp by his sides.

Keith was a man that didn’t know the first thing about family, friends, love, and it was one thing that Lance had always had. He had grown with them... taking it for granted even. But it was one thing to have this and another one entirely to make Keith believe Lance didn’t care.

Maybe it was time to teach Keith instead of telling him.

“Man, I don’t hate you. Jesus fucking Christ, I feel like a douche! I’m _so sorry_. I’m sorry for making you think that I hated you for all these _months,_ yeah, you are an ass but… Keith, buddy, I don’t hate you, never truly did, I was…I’m actually jealous of you,” Lance said sheepishly against Keith’s shoulder. After realizing that Keith was not responding his hug he felt embarrassed and in order to get back to normal he pushed Keith at arm’s length as quickly as he had hugged him, “I—I will remember this bonding moment, I promise, you can brag about it if you want but If you say _anything_ about the jealous part I’ll deny it.”

“Lanc—“

“I swear.”

And Keith, who had been so shocked to actually move, had finally cracked a laugh, it was a sad laugh but a laugh nonetheless.

“You are such an _idiot,”_

“Well, so I’ve been told,” Lance said as he let a small smile grace his features too. Keith nodded in understanding, before he could say anything else, though, they both heard the voice of Pidge coming through the comms of their helmets long forgotten on the floor. If Lance saw the moisture in Keith’s eyes when they got out of the cave he kept it to himself.

And there were the things Lance knew about him that the Red Paladin didn’t exactly need to share.

After Lance realized he was in love with him he started to notice things, things that probably the rest didn’t even mind even to look for.

When Keith was stressed in the middle of a political or social meeting he would play with the edge of whatever hem he would be wearing.

Keith would never say it was time for a break in practice, but if you say it first he would take it.

Keith’s favorite color wasn’t red. Yes, he loved the color red but it wasn’t his favorite. Once, in a mental bonding session between them two, Allura has asked something about Red and Blue. Keith’s tired brain had not been thinking about the lions and he connected his brain with colors instead.

That session Lance discovered Keith’s favorite color was the blue of the ocean, the kind of blue that shows up a moment before the sun illuminated the sky. Dark royal blue, if Lance were to describe it.

A tic later Keith understood the question and imagined his red lion instead, answering whatever Allura had asked and seemed to have forgotten about his slip, however, Lance didn’t ever forget it.

He knew that Keith hated to cook, however, once they had landed on a planet and everyone had gotten a bad case of space flu, Keith said that it may be because of his Galra DNA that he got to escape it. Lance knew he had gotten into town to buy medicine and after that had attempted to cook them something, however, by the time he had finished—which took him eons— Coran and Allura had been back on their feet.

So Coran had done the cooking. Lance found the remains of Keith’s cooking on the garbage can.

So he knew, he knew a lot about Keith; unspoken things, declared things, almost overlooked things.

So now, with Keith sitting in front of him, telling Lance that he didn’t mind to be bonded to them, Lance knew all the reasons and more as to why. Probably he knew better than Keith himself. To have something real and genuine, a clear demonstration beyond words and actions that he was needed and loved.

Because if there was one thing Lance knew about Keith is that he was man starving for love.

Lance blinked when Keith moved.

“I’m talking nonsense, aren’t I?” Keith said with a heavy sigh as he stood up. He stretched, hands over his head, he sighed in relief as something in his back cracked, “I’m going to try and find Shiro, see if he wants to spar before dinner, wanna come?”

Lance was barely hearing what Keith was saying over the ridiculously loud thrum of his heart. So in an act that Lance will hit his head against the not-so-metaphorical wall later, he stood up from his couch and walked up to Keith, crystal firmly grasped in one hand as with the other he gingerly took Keith’s left hand, the hand that was still holding the crystal.

“Lance what—“

“I wouldn’t mind either,” Lance smiled softly and noticed the tremble in Keith’s hand and before he had a second chance to think this over—like he did most the time! Because _he was not_ Keith!— or before Keith could pull away, he gently, like the most special of touches, tapped his rock against Keith’s.

 

**Author's Note:**

> WOW THIS WAS LONG. I don’t know if I will make this a series or not. I just had ALL THESE FEELINGS ABOUT LANCE AND KEITH IN MY HEART. And they needed a way out. Like. Urgently. I just love them so much??? I really hope that DreamWorks will work our dreams (pun intended) into a reality and give us these two together. BECAUSE THEY WOULD BE SO. GOOD. TOGETHER. LIKE. SO. GOOD.
> 
> I hope they were not too OOC. They had GROWN guys. Six years is a lot, they had grown more serious too, but right at their cores they are still the same. I see a lot of fics where Klance happens and fights and flirts together and that’s AWESOME, (Those are the fic I live for) but what about… if they both realize that being together could really hinder Voltron? So Lance shut ups about it and Keith shut ups about it and they just… love each other? But never tell the other?  
> So yeah. Idk was wrong with me.  
> I hope you liked this. Even though it was long but I don’t know how to make short things. Let me know what you think and If you would like me to continue!  
> BTW: I saw the idea of Hunk being Allura’s favorite on a post on Tumblr and I was like… lets use this.


End file.
